My friend and I both grew up in abusive homes and it's hard not to harbor hard feelings towards our families. (My friend’s family treats total strangers better than they do her). We pray for them and do our best "to be angry and sin not." My friend says that our thoughts alone would prove we aren't saved. But, I believe that if our Risen Savior saved Saul and made him the Apostle to the Gentiles, then we are saved by what Christ did, never by how we live. Of course, that doesn't mean we are to stay "babes in Christ" either.
As far as your personal situations with your family, I'm sorry to hear that, and I know that it has hurt and does hurt. As one myself who was abandoned by my father, I know the pain, anguish and lasting anger and resentment it can cause. But that is where the Lord and the Word of His grace comes in. It took and still takes the blessings of the grace message to heal me and it will you, too—all in good time. It is vain to hold anger, and resentment towards those who hurt you because the only one it hurts is you (and those close to you that you love)!
So instead of holding on to the anger, ask God to heal your pain and release you from the anger, and them continue to pray for your family to get saved and come unto a knowledge of the truth! This does not mean you must have a relationship with those that hurt you (at least until they both acknowledge and work at righting those wrongs through an apology and other efforts), but all it means is that you release it to God, knowing that you have sinned more and much greater sins against God, than any human being has towards you!
Ephesians 4:32
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
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As for being saved, yes, you are saved eternally by trusting [by faith alone] in Christ's shed blood and not by how you live [by faith plus works—that’s Israel’s program]. But like you said, you are not to stay babes or carnal like our brethren at Corinth, but are to grow and mature spiritually in Christ!
1 Corinthians 3:1-3
And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ. I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able. For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?
Colossians 1:9
For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding;
"To be filled with knowledge, wisdom and understanding!" That is your service; and, it is your service that will be judged by the Lord at the Judgment Seat of Christ! You can click here to listen to past sermons where I deal with this and other topics.
Hopefully this
helps!
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